Losing It

            A recent documentary that I watched about middle-aged adults losing their virginity has got me thinking about the subject lately. I don’t propose to know the best way to lose your virginity except to say ‘do what feels right to you’. Everybody has different views on this subject, and I invite you to tell me about them. If what feels right to you is losing your virginity to your high-school sweetheart, an escort, or your husband on your wedding night; then power to you. I want to share my story with you, in hopes to open a bit of a dialog, or at least to get you thinking back to your experience, whether it was good or bad.

            I lost my virginity to a great guy: he was gentle, nice, intelligent, and made me feel sexy. Up to this point in my life, I had very few guys tell me I was sexy so I was putty in his arms. He was older, wild and fun and had money to burn, so to my teenage sensibilities told me he was just right. At the time I had just wanted to lose my virginity, ‘get it over with’ if you want to say. I didn’t see the big deal, it wasn’t some magic talisman that got more precious with time…and besides, I was one horny young lady (as most teens are). The experience itself wasn’t much to speak of, he was gentle but it still hurt like nobody’s business (thicker than average and a poor choice for my first). We got along royally for about 2 months until he moved away. I wasn’t heartbroken because he wasn’t my boyfriend, and I was richer from the experience.

            This experience paved the way to my sexual awakening and I can honestly say that sex with a person that you love is way better than casual sex any day of the week. Having that special emotional connection with your lover can make all the difference. I have been with my partner for over 7 years and I can happily say the sex is still amazing after all this time. I don’t regret losing my virginity to a ‘fuck buddy’, it made me appreciate what came after, and helped me to learn what my body responded to and what it didn’t.

            My advice to virgins (or anyone): don’t feel pressure to do anything you are not comfortable doing, if your partner pressures you, they don’t care about you. Do what feels right and go with your instincts, if you feel you are in the right moment to lose your virginity, go for it. Always be safe, it only takes once to get pregnant or to get an STI; don’t leave it up to the other person to have protection. Don’t feel bad if you are still a virgin at whatever age, it will happen when you are ready, and don’t let your peers make you feel like a loser for not having lost it yet. Lastly: no regrets; make smart decisions and you will have none.

            I invite my readers to share their first experiences, or what they hope will be their first time.

~Janice

50 Shades of Grey

Everyone seems to be up in arms about the 50 Shades of Grey trilogy, i've heard reviews ranging from "it's very descriptive and hot" to "it's the most poorly-written piece of garbage I have ever read". I have decided to jump on the popularity bandwagon and read at least the first one myself. Once I am done I will post a review and let you know my thoughts on the book. In the meantime, if you are interested in buying it yourself, please follow the links below to purchase the books from my Amazon.com store.

http://astore.amazon.com/thlola09-20

~Janice

Bug Chasers

I have recently watched a documentary called "I Love Being HIV Positive", in which an HIV+ gay man comes across the term 'bug chasers'. 'Bug chasers' are men who seek out HIV+ men for unprotected sex, with the sole purpose of contracting the horrible disease themselves. I was so disgusted with the thought of someone intentionally infecting themselves that I had to stop watching for a bit.

The filmmaker baits these bug chasers with an online ad to get to the bottom of this trend, what he finds is that most of these men are just playing out sexual fantasies and disappear when asked to meet in person. There are a few cases of men actually following through with this horrible plan and there are a few reasons that I can think of why they would want to do such a thing:

1. They are not fully educated about the disease and/or they are minimizing the negative effects.

2. They want the attention and people to care for them, 'oh poor Gary, I’ll take care of you'.

3. They want to be on disability and have the state take care of them.

4. Or, they have a death wish.

The thing that bothers me about the last point (putting aside that suicide is never the answer) is that there are so many more ways to kill yourself that don't involve years of suffering. I will never forget the two individuals that came into my Intro Human Sexuality class in University who had contracted HIV; their lives have been filled with medication, side effects, and near death experiences. I cannot conceive of someone wanting that life.

What needs to happen is a resurgence of the campaigns of the 80's, it was almost a scare tactic to get young people to use condoms. While I do not agree with scare tactics, I think something needs to be done to increase the education to the public about HIV and AIDS. STI and AIDS education is present in schools, but education needs to go beyond the schools to reach adults who may not have been made aware of the perils of unprotected sex.

For those of you who wish to watch this documentary, it can be found here: http://watchdocumentary.com/watch/i-love-being-hiv-video_07b858486.html

Documentary of the Week

The documentary I chose this week is Louis Theroux's Weird Weekend- Porn. BBC documentary filmmaker Louis Theroux delves into the world of the male porn star. Most men think this is the dream gig- getting paid good money to have sex with tons of beautiful women. What most men don't know is that it is an extremely hard job, resulting in very few men making it in the business. Louis is a great filmmaker and storyteller, getting right to the heart of the story and in front of the camera, all in the name of film.

http://watchdocumentary.com/watch/louis-therouxs-weird-weekends-porn-video_f59d1f11d.html

Documentary of the Week

The documentary I chose to feature this week is entitled 'The Virgin Daughters' and is an intimate look inside the purity movement in the central states. I believe there is a lot that can be taken away from this documentary, but most importantly I believe that the purity movement lacks education on contraception and STI's. I think abstinance is a great idea and theory, but in the end it is a very unrealistic outlook on the sexuality of today's youth. Telling a young person to make a vow for celibacy and not educating them further is just a recipe for disaster. Aside from that fundamental flaw, I enjoyed the great relationships between family members and the encouragement the young people received for respecting themselves.

http://topdocumentaryfilms.com/virgin-daughters/

Until next time!

Documentary of the Week

I watch so many documentaries in my free time, i've decided to share some of the sex-related ones with you on a weekly schedule.

This week is: Ancient Inventions- Sex and Love, brought to you by Monty Python's Terry Jones. This particular documentary can be found at the following link, and is the second video down.

http://topdocumentaryfilms.com/ancient-inventions-war-sex-city-life/

Cheers,
Janice

Update

Just a quick update to let you know what is new:

I am now on Twitter: https://twitter.com/TheLoveLane

And Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/pages/The-Love-Lane/350467548312634?ref=tn_tnmn

Feel free to like me and follow me if you wish. I am working on my website, which should be up in a week or two. Some things I wish to feature there are product reviews, advice, and products for sale down the road.

****UPDATE****
My website is now live, come check it out: http://www.thelovelane.ca/