Losing It

            A recent documentary that I watched about middle-aged adults losing their virginity has got me thinking about the subject lately. I don’t propose to know the best way to lose your virginity except to say ‘do what feels right to you’. Everybody has different views on this subject, and I invite you to tell me about them. If what feels right to you is losing your virginity to your high-school sweetheart, an escort, or your husband on your wedding night; then power to you. I want to share my story with you, in hopes to open a bit of a dialog, or at least to get you thinking back to your experience, whether it was good or bad.

            I lost my virginity to a great guy: he was gentle, nice, intelligent, and made me feel sexy. Up to this point in my life, I had very few guys tell me I was sexy so I was putty in his arms. He was older, wild and fun and had money to burn, so to my teenage sensibilities told me he was just right. At the time I had just wanted to lose my virginity, ‘get it over with’ if you want to say. I didn’t see the big deal, it wasn’t some magic talisman that got more precious with time…and besides, I was one horny young lady (as most teens are). The experience itself wasn’t much to speak of, he was gentle but it still hurt like nobody’s business (thicker than average and a poor choice for my first). We got along royally for about 2 months until he moved away. I wasn’t heartbroken because he wasn’t my boyfriend, and I was richer from the experience.

            This experience paved the way to my sexual awakening and I can honestly say that sex with a person that you love is way better than casual sex any day of the week. Having that special emotional connection with your lover can make all the difference. I have been with my partner for over 7 years and I can happily say the sex is still amazing after all this time. I don’t regret losing my virginity to a ‘fuck buddy’, it made me appreciate what came after, and helped me to learn what my body responded to and what it didn’t.

            My advice to virgins (or anyone): don’t feel pressure to do anything you are not comfortable doing, if your partner pressures you, they don’t care about you. Do what feels right and go with your instincts, if you feel you are in the right moment to lose your virginity, go for it. Always be safe, it only takes once to get pregnant or to get an STI; don’t leave it up to the other person to have protection. Don’t feel bad if you are still a virgin at whatever age, it will happen when you are ready, and don’t let your peers make you feel like a loser for not having lost it yet. Lastly: no regrets; make smart decisions and you will have none.

            I invite my readers to share their first experiences, or what they hope will be their first time.

~Janice