Tuesday 30 July 2013

Misconceptions

This is the rantiest (is that a word? It is now) blog I will probably ever write, but I have to get it off my chest.

Recently, I was invited to a birthday party for a former classmate. This classmate is a wonderful, strong lady whom I like and admire very much, with the exception of one thing: she selectively forgets important things about me, such as my name and the purpose of my business. Don't get me wrong, I was VERY happy to be invited to this birthday party because I never get out and I never meet new people, so it was a great thing for me.

Three days before the party, the former classmate's friend calls me and asks "(birthday girl) says you are a sex expert, is that true?" Now, i'm always leery of this question because I never know what the follow-up question will be, so I answer "sort of, why?" She proceeds to ask me if I can bring things to the party, such as toys or pictures. I don't have these things available to me because I don't do anything related to a sex toy party, but I have a sexy trivia game I tell her I can bring and she is happy with that.

During the party, the birthday girl introduces me in a way that leads people to believe I do entertainment/party stuff, so I correct her and inform the other guests that I lean more towards sexual health, education, and therapy. I tell the guests that if they have any questions or problems, just to ask me there or email me if it's private and I will be delighted to help them out. I spend the party answering questions and having a good time, it seems like everyone is understanding what it is I do and enjoys it.

We were unable to eat the delicious cake in the restaurant or play the game I brought, so we schedule a follow-up get-together for those reasons. About a week before the gathering, the birthday girl tells me that her friend wants me to bring toys and pictures this time. I tell her again that this is not what I do, and that I have no toys or pictures to bring (what kinds of pictures is she thinking of anyway?). She agrees that the game is sufficient and leaves it at that. At this point, I am getting that sinking feeling that no one truly understands what it is I am trying to accomplish, and that I was only invited to be the entertainment, so I decided that it is best not to attend the party (it helps that something came up at the last moment too). I tell the birthday girl and her reply is "Ahh, u r the main attraction..." and I follow-up by suggesting that someone else bring a fun game, as that was all I was doing anyway.

This was the confirmation that I needed. Despite telling her multiple times, and clarifying things with her guests, they still all believed that I was just the entertainment and all I do is sexy fun parties. This is the problem that I have wherever I go, not just with these ladies. People think that I throw sexy parties, or that i'm a sexual surrogate or something. It is so hard to break that popular media stereotype of a Sex Therapist that I usually tell people I am doing relationship therapy or couples counselling, because there are less negative connotations with those word combinations. It's sad that I have to mainstream the words I am using just to people do not immediately get the wrong impression of what I am trying to accomplish. It is so disheartening to have to explain myself over and over again, especially to the same people.

Maybe one day I will be taken seriously, I have a lot of work ahead of me so I better get started.

Rant. Over.

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